A Bostonian’s Thoughts On The Boston Bombings

Marathon Monday is a drinking holiday for college students in the Boston area, because the route of the Marathon makes it impossible for commuters and professors to get to campus. Last year, I remember walking into the Campus Center and seeing all of these people crowded around a TV, thinking ‘what are these nerds doing watching the news on Marathon Monday?!’, only to realize that this Marathon Monday would go down in history for all of the wrong reasons.

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Those terrorists claimed to be acting on behalf of the innocent lives taken by the U.S. military in Muslim countries.

If you know me, you know I’m a patriot. You know that I love this country with every fiber of my being, with all of her flaws and all of her imperfections. As much as I support and love our troops, I don’t doubt for a second that while they’re overseas they may be forced to do things that they aren’t proud of. And as much as I grieve for any innocent life taken, regardless of origin, the solution to evil is never more evil. I’d bet my next paycheck that not a single life was spared overseas as a result of violence against the U.S. 

I was forced to watch in horror during the longest week of my life as Boston locked down, and watch with pride as Boston emancipated itself from the clutches of terrorism. I was able to appreciate the miraculous world we live in to an extent that I never had, as everyone, everywhere stood with Boston.

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As much as the rest of Boston and I appreciate the support and love we’ve received nationally as well as internationally, I don’t believe an outsider has any real perspective on what Boston really means. Boston is so much more than an attraction. Boston is more than Newbury Street or Faneuil Hall. Boston is a city of proud, hard working people, from the hippies in JP to the townies in Southie. As diverse as it’s population may be, the spirit of Boston is very much distinct. It’s more than an unwavering loyalty to your teams, choosing Dunkies over Starbucks because Starbucks is for yuppies, and an inherited obsession with Mahhhky Mahhk. It’s knowing who you are and what you stand for. It’s brave, and unapologetic. Boston is where the American dream comes true every day. Boston was strong before it was a hashtag, and it always will be.

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Put Away The Ice Cream, You Are Not A Victim

Growing up means learning to take responsibility for your actions. A lot of bad things happen for no reason at all, a lot of bad things happen because life is unfair, and a lot of bad things happen because you’re stupid. It’s okay to be stupid; this is your first time at life. It takes stupidity to make wisdom. But you won’t grow wise by pretending that you aren’t at fault when you are.

When I was 17, I was head over heels in lust with a football player named Ainsley. We went to different schools, and talked on the phone every day for months on end. We’d been talking for about three or four months, and he told me that he “wasn’t a relationship person.” We stopped talking, but of course I fell for the “I miss you” text in classic naive teenager fashion. We decided that I’d give him my virginity and be exclusive friends with benefits, and I accepted that because I thought it would turn into a relationship.

The day after I lost my virginity to him, I ended things. I finally saw the situation for what it was. One day, he would proudly call someone his girlfriend, but it wouldn’t be me. That day was actually a month or two later, and it broke my heart. I spent an entire weekend listening to “Somebody I Used To Know” on repeat and drowning myself in wine coolers, like the 17 year old bad ass I was.

But the point is, I had no one to blame but myself. When we started talking, I was too forward. I didn’t present myself like a lady or give him anything to work for. You know how they tell you to dress for the job you want? You should present yourself like a girlfriend if you want to be one.

I want to be clear: a woman’s sexuality is nothing to be ashamed of. But it also doesn’t need to be broadcasted. And if the conversations are of a risky nature too early, it will be difficult for a man to see you as more than your sexuality.

When he said he “wasn’t a relationship person” I should have listened. We had been talking for months; he had a pretty decent understanding of who I was and had decided that he didn’t want a relationship with me. I could’ve saved myself a great deal of emotional turmoil by just taking his words at face value.

A lot of times I’ve found that people aren’t victims of circumstances or other people; they’re victims of their own naïveté. They’re victims of their unwillingness to accept reality. So before you label him an asshole, or her a heartless bitch, analyze the situation. See if you had any part to play, because you probably did, and learn from it. There is no room for progress in a cycle of self pity and ignorance.

State House Adventures

These are some photos from my visit to the State House earlier this week. I’ve been there before, but this was the first time I’d been there since graduating high school (and since taking art history) so I appreciated it a lot more. The first picture is with Senator Chang Diaz. The third picture is from the State House balcony, which is rarely open, so I was feeling extra hashtag blessed to gaze at my gorgeous city from the building where it all began. Life has been hectic, annoying, and exhausting, and this was a real treat for someone as patriotic and Bostonian to the bone as I am.

Today I went to the State House, and wanted to keep it pretty but professional. I wore a button down from Forever 21, a Tommy Hilfiger sweater (gift), and pants from White House | Black Market. My hair bow is from Claire’s, my necklace is from Charlotte Russe, and my flats are from Rainbow. I was dressed femininely enough to stand out but appropriately enough to make a good impression on all of the politicians I met today.

Today I went to the State House, and wanted to keep it pretty but professional. I wore a button down from Forever 21, a Tommy Hilfiger sweater (gift), and pants from White House | Black Market. My hair bow is from Claire’s, my necklace is from Charlotte Russe, and my flats are from Rainbow. I was dressed femininely enough to stand out but appropriately enough to make a good impression on all of the politicians I met today.

Everyone Isn’t Beautiful

I know my title already has you thinking, “Woah, what kind of heartless bitch am I dealing with, here?” I am, indeed, a bit sentimentally challenged, but bear with me.

Dove’s ad campaigns don’t impress me. Aerie ad campaigns don’t impress me. No ad campaign advertising that “everyone is beautiful” or that we are all “perfectly imperfect” appeals to me or impresses me. Why?

1) Your ego is not the media’s responsibility. After a certain age, the media/society card becomes invalid. You are in charge of your self esteem.

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2) Not everyone is beautiful. Not everyone will think you’re beautiful. Do you think you’re beautiful? Because that’s literally all you’re in control of. Welcome to Earth. Have a beer.

3) Claiming the media perpetuates “unrealistic beauty ideals” is probably the cheapest argument you could make. The rarity of the features of most models is what sets them apart. Of course not everyone looks like that. That’s like claiming that the NBA and NFL set unrealistic standards for athletic ability. 

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4) It shouldn’t matter that you’re not beautiful. If there’s a message that needs to be sent, it’s that beauty shouldn’t be the end all be all of a girl’s existence. 

5) Call me a cynic, but I see these ads as a sleazy appeal to the broken psyches of the insecure. It’s a public relations stunt. They’re just trying to make themselves look good.

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Basically, we, as women, are all being patronized. We aren’t expected to push ourselves to think independently. We’re too fragile to accept reality, so we’re being fed these absurd campaigns to coddle our egos. It’s pathetic.

As harsh as this may have sounded, it’s not coming from a hateful place or from ignorance. I used to have extremely low self esteem. I would constantly imagine myself with lighter skin and longer hair and light green eyes. Then I grew up, got an education, and realized I was, indeed, a bad bitch and that it didn’t matter who agreed or disagreed with me. We’re all much more capable than we give ourselves credit for. 

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Weeks ago, I went out for sushi with coworkers at Samurai. I’ve passed Samurai countless times but never given it a second thought, as it’s not only underground but has pretty discreet signage. After eating there, I’d definitely call it one of Boston’s hidden gems.

It’s a quaint restaurant, the atmosphere is relaxing and the food was excellent. I consider myself pretty down to earth, but I’m a bit of a snob when it comes to sushi. The idea of people eating mall food court sushi makes me want to weep. I can’t remember the names of the rolls I ordered but they were delicious, and while I want to spend more time trying new restaurants, I hope to make it back there at some point.

Weeks ago, I went out for sushi with coworkers at Samurai. I’ve passed Samurai countless times but never given it a second thought, as it’s not only underground but has pretty discreet signage. After eating there, I’d definitely call it one of Boston’s hidden gems.

It’s a quaint restaurant, the atmosphere is relaxing and the food was excellent. I consider myself pretty down to earth, but I’m a bit of a snob when it comes to sushi. The idea of people eating mall food court sushi makes me want to weep. I can’t remember the names of the rolls I ordered but they were delicious, and while I want to spend more time trying new restaurants, I hope to make it back there at some point.

Things Every High Schooler Should Know Before They Go To College

While out this weekend, I was particularly annoyed by the freshmen in my presence and thought I’d do a post about things I think that high schoolers should know before they come to college!

1. You’re probably a lot more annoying than you think you are. You’ll only understand this when you’re in college.

2. Start working out now. Form the habit early; the freshman 15 is not a myth and easily turns into the sophomore 30.

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3. Your grades should be your priority. Missing out on a couple of lame high school parties will be well worth it when you can go to your dream school.

4. Play a sport. Not only does this help you get in shape but it can only do positive things for you.

5. Sleeping with/”dating” someone in college while you’re in high school is 11 times out of 10 a bad idea. There are exceptions, you won’t be one.

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6. I 100% understand the appeal of sleeping with the (college) senior athlete as a (college) freshman, but don’t expect a relationship out of it.

7. YOU DONT HAVE TO BE PROMISCUOUS IF YOU DONT WANT TO.

8. Go to class, especially if your teachers take attendance. In the spring semester, save your absences for when it’s going to be nice outside.

9. Just because you can dress like a slob to class doesn’t mean you should.

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10. Use protection. Colleges are hot beds of disease and there’s nothing cute about clinic trips. Popping Plan B like skittles is not only tacky but probably unhealthy.

11. If you’re going to a school with Greek Life prepare to rush. You’ll probably hate yourself forever if you don’t. SororitySugar is a great source.

12. Make a habit of being out of your room unless you’re sleeping or doing homework. You’ll have plenty of time to watch Netflix over winter break.

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13. Get to know people that are nothing like you; you cheat yourself of some hilarious, life changing friendships by only hanging out with people from your walk of life.

14. Depending on what you do after college, it will probably be the only time you can get drunk on a Tuesday at 2 in the afternoon without being considered an alcoholic. Make the most of it.

15. Vodka is vodka, and whether it’s coming out of a $10 bottle or a $50 bottle it’s gross and going to get you drunk, so learn to stomach the burn of cheap, terrible alcohol coming from a plastic container. Also, tequila and Redbull go really well together.

16. Lying about your age or about the fact that you’re in high school to guys in college is not cute.

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17. Make as many friends as possible in high school, because they’ll all want you to visit them at them after you graduate and you’ll get to go all over the country.

18. Work. You’re going to need to start saving up now to afford alcohol, drunk munchie food and sorority dues.

19. No one in college will care how cool you think you were in high school.

At a Loss for Lilly

So, spring is here and all you can think about as the preppy young lady you are is the approach of sundress season. Girls everywhere are anticipating reunions with their most beloved Lilly items, and are racking up new ones, but you, unfortunately, can’t participate. Prices are high and your funds are low. So what’s a girl to do?

Well, Lilly is Lilly. But there are plenty of great, less expensive alternatives available that will leave you looking just as lovely as the girls in Lilly. What’s important is to keep an eye out for somewhat modest, classic dress silhouettes and beautiful bold colors.

This is not what you’re looking for

Neither is this

Or this

While the middle dress might be fun for some Indie concert, no one in their right minds would be caught dead next to Lilly in any of these dresses.

These are more like it

And what’s better is that all of these dresses are under $50!